Setting the scene: I was 9 years old, and my family was at our annual church Labor Day weekend camp out- Green Lake. I was at the pool, being a kid and enjoying my time-- another girl right around my age (a complete stranger in that moment!) & I begin to play together, and hand in hand-- began jumping into the pool together over and over again- having an absolute blast and laughing hysterically for whatever reason!
It was so simple. A friend was made in an instant. And that friend was Amy. She and I remained friends all through junior high, high school and beyond (we had our distant seasons & hard moments like most friendships do...) and remain connected to this day-- both of us married, and she, with three beautiful children, and my first one on the way! Amy is one, in the small handful of ladies I am so blessed to be surrounded by (even from a distance) and feel there will always be that lifelong connection regardless of the season of life we each may find ourselves in.
I love this story, and thinking about the seasons in life where friendship came easily and it was uncomplicated- for the most part! I was so blessed in my younger years, with tight knit girl friends around me. It set the tone for friendships as I moved to new cities and states, and had the daunting task of developing new ones, in new seasons. And over all, it wasn't ever too difficult.
I know there have been moments in my own life when I have been a really bad friend, in-attentive and more in tune with my own needs than with the needs of those around me. And conversely, I have seen myself being a wonderful and selfless friend-- dropping everything on my plate to meet the needs of those dearest to me.
And through these ups and downs, I have seen the mark of the true & genuine friend: In the moments when we do mess up and fall short, and when there are hurt feelings and wish we could go back and change words or actions--- the true friend remains, and shows grace and love in those moments. While the surface friends fade away because the friendship wasn't able to handle adversity, or there was an unwillingness to forgive and move forward past offenses.
It's always hard for anyone to swallow the moments that they aren't proud of, or moments we wish could be taken back-- and there have been times in my life & in a few friendships that sadly took this path in which I have definitely felt that way.
However, through the pain of losing a friend, or being rejected while trying to reconcile, it has caused me to see the true beauty of the ones who are here to stay; and the security it brings to know that there are people God has placed in my life who truly are lifers. And I know, as much as it pains my own heart when I mess up or cause hurt in a friendship, I have those in my life who will meet that moment with grace and love- because my presence in their life is worth more than offense, and their presence in my life is irreplaceable.
Proverbs 19:11 A person’s wisdom yields patience, it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.
And while I always wish to be reconciled and at peace with each person my life has touched, I know not everyone's outlook or priorities are the same. All I can do is continually learn how to be a better friend, and more in tune with the needs and hearts of those dearest to me. And by God's grace, that is who I keep on trying to become for those around me. And I hope it is a gift I can pass onto my own daughter as she ventures out into the world of being a true friend to those around her.
