Baby Update!

Sam and I have had two more appointments with our specialist office since my last post regarding everything that's going on with him! Ultimately, so far it has gone better than we could have hoped for! He's been extremely active- which is of course a huge relief to me between visits, and the UVV has gotten a little smaller with each visit.

My doctors are still going to go ahead and proceed with inducement at 39 weeks, if he doesn't come on his own before then! Which means he'll be born on December 16th (which is actually my hubby's birthday too!! Barring any sort of extended labor!!) They've been able to get heart-echos on baby each time we've been in there and are slowly getting each shot of organs and limbs as we go (and as he cooperates!) Sometimes he is moving around so much during our appointments they aren't able to catch the image needed! But, all is well! 

He is still in breech positioning, so here's to hoping that changes in the next month. I'm only at 32 weeks, so OB said not to be concerned about it for at least another month. I just would love to avoid having a c-section if at all possible, not that there's anything wrong with a c-section- just my preference. 

So, not much news, but considering where we're at, no news, or not much change is good news!! Here are some updated shots the tech got for me yesterday!

So precious! 

Those cheeks! ::Heart eyes!!::

Christian.

I've been mulling a certain topic over in my head for a while now; and the topic is denominations within my "religious" preference. And just as a preface if you're reading this and don't know me, I am a Christian. I've talked it over with several people I trust who fall anywhere on the spectrum from Reformed Baptist to straight up Charismatic in the truest sense of the word. I feel this is a topic a lot of people have A LOT of energy around and usually feel extremely devout to their stance and position. It actually makes me happy to see someone so devout to their views and interpretation of the Word, because to me, it means they really care and have done their homework and have scriptural evidence backing up what they are standing on. 

I am not a theologian on any level or have ever claimed to be! But, I guess it struck me at some point that I come from a pretty charismatic, tongue speaking, soaking in the presence of God, miracle believing background. And while I take no issue with any of the aforementioned practices, I also have seen a LOT of weirdness within the vein I've come from. A lot of times, there were things I just couldn't understand or reconcile in a way where I was seeing scripture to back up or confirm certain "prophets" messages or instructions to a congregation... It's almost a little hard to describe what I'm referring to without sounding disrespectful to the people who were leading such gatherings, and that wouldn't be my intention, but if you've been in this realm of ministry you know what I'm saying.

I've had friends counsel me to not pick apart a certain "denomination" and pick and choose the parts I felt I agreed with, because it means there are holes or flaws within that groups thinking or belief system. While all of these different groups ultimately believe in Jesus as the Savoir of the world, the Messiah come and only through Him there is forgiveness and redemption in the blood He shed; and then by rising again from the grave defeated death; there are lot of other bunny trails (so to say) that can be implemented or taught and they all fall under that core belief system. While I understood the heart of what that particular friend was saying to me in regards to not only taking bits and pieces, I sort of felt like that's who I am.

I think I am just a person who wholeheartedly believes every word of the Bible, and know Jesus is the only way, and that it can sometimes be really confusing to interpret scripture into our culture and time in history, but that we have the Holy Spirit living IN us to help and guide our minds in hearts in deciphering the scriptures. I do think God does things differently in moments from one person to the next, and the revelation one person gets from a portion of scripture might not be the same understanding another person gets. And bottom line is I don't think that's wrong. I just think that is GOD. He meets every single person, in their own way, at their own time, and how He needs to speak to them for that person to feel His presence and power in their lives.


I however do NOT believe that means God will allow sin or justification of things that aren't right, and it doesn't mean people are literally free to just run wild and think they're under God's direction or anointing. But that's a whole different conversation.  That's truly why this is such a sticky subject though, He allowed all of us to have free will, which can lead to things that for certain aren't lining up with the Word. I think for me, at the beginning of all of this, I just wanted to know why I believed what I did, and why I'm drawn to the Bill Johnson's, and Jason Upton's and the people who I felt were/are bringing the presence of God to our world.

And I realize everything I'm writing is somewhat inconclusive and a little ambiguous, but I'm still mulling through it all. I just know that there ARE truly parts of the Charismatic movement that to me feel like God's presence and power to me, and I see in the Bible where it's backed up. Just like I see where other denominations get things that they stand by. I think my real opinion is that I wish the Body of Christ didn't divide themselves into "sects" and into different divisions. I'm not a Christian to follow anyone's interpretation of the scriptures besides Jesus's interpretation. I don't know that it was ever the original intention of the Gospel message to be divided like we have. And, maybe it does serve people better, or maybe it's doing the Body of Christ a disservice because it does bring division.

There's just enough division in the world right now, and as a Christian I feel like it's partly my responsibility to bring peace where there is division, and that is hard when some of my own are so deeply divided. We have the roadmap. We have the Spirit to guide us. I really believe we can work together to bring healing to this world. It will be hard. It does mean laying down pride, stubborn thoughts and sins, but this life we have to live is so short. And I know for sure that I want to continually live with eternity in my site. And to know this part (the part that feels so huge and overwhelming and all encompassing) is really just a breath.

(Oh, and update for anyone who read my last post about our baby boy... Week 2 with specialist showed no progression of the cord issue, and it has remained stable. No new red flags either! Thank you all for praying and I would ask that you continue to do so! It was definitely good news, and little guy has about 8 more weeks to keep growing healthy and strong!!)

Umbilical Vein Varix: Week 1

Hello whoever might be reading this! I haven't posted in so long!! Miss being on here and I've decided I'm going to try to get back into the swing of things!

I'm currently 31 weeks pregnant with our baby boy, Samuel. At our 29 week check-up my OB had me get an ultrasound to measure babies growth, and in that appointment they found some abnormalities with his umbilical cord. An "umbilical vein varix" is what they called it. Essentially they explained to me it meant there was a dilation (enlargement) in part of his umbilical cord right in his abdomen. I was immediately moved to the status of a "high risk pregnancy" and sent to a perinatologist (a doctor who follows women who have high risk pregnancies, I'm sure for multiple reasons, including the diagnosis they had just informed me of with our son). I remember my OB sharing vaguely in the appointment why I needed to see the specialist, but for some reason it didn't register with me immediately that what she was sharing was potentially scary, even life threatening stuff in regards to Sam's well-being and the rest of my pregnancy.

Once I digested what she told me, did a little googling (never a good idea!) and I then messaged her on myChart and asked a few more solidly formed questions. Her nurse messaged me back shortly after and simply stated that the doctor would call me directly to address the questions; which she did not long after. Basically she explained to me that when they see this UVV (umbilical vein varix) in babies cords it can mean a lot, it could be nothing, or it could lead to something really very serious. It was just the facts she shared, and regardless of how ambiguous the explanation felt, it was just the truth.

She said when she sees this condition along with other factors, it could point to genetic abnormalities or chromosomal abnormalities in baby, it could point to the baby becoming anemic because of the malfunction in the cord, not giving baby the nutrients he needs to thrive, and in the worst case it could cause things as scary as death in the womb before birth or stillbirth. She then reassured me that Sam's growth has been perfect up till now, and she's had absolutely no other reason to be concerned for his well-being, and that there have been no other signs of chromosomal or growth abnormalities in him. However, watching the cord was extremely important, because if it continues to dilate it could cause blood clots to form ultimately which could lead to him being still born.

I waited patiently for about 5 more days when I was scheduled to see the specialist, at which appointment they did confirm the UVV and also echoed essentially all that my OB said in that there were no further reasons to worry or be concerned about Sam's well being/development as of right now. Just that he wanted to see me on a weekly basis from now until delivery to monitor the cord and make sure it doesn't do anything we wouldn't want it to do (grow), and that baby did continue to do what he needs to do (grow!)

So, we're definitely playing the waiting game right now. My husband and I opted against genetic screening for our various reasons, and ultimately as strong believers in God and in His plans for our lives, we know that however our child is born (whether a baby with some type of syndrome or abnormality, or a baby who is born developmentally "normal" having no special needs) we would feel blessed and know Sam is meant to be ours forever, and we love him so beyond unconditionally regardless of any of that. The waiting game for me feels like watching this cord in his belly, making sure our boy is growing and thriving in the womb, and trusting the care of the Doctors in our lives for the next 9 weeks, and trusting God to nudge them if he needs to come sooner than his due date, and just for Him to give my mind and body peace so the little one isn't feeling my stress and concern for him as we go through this last leg of pregnancy.

I wanted to blog about it for 2 reasons. Reason 1, it's healthy for me. It's a space to process and lay my thoughts, fears and anxieties down, regarding all of this-- and to leave it here and not in my head. Reason 2, as horrible as it is to search google when any medical condition is involved, I know I do it, and I also know a million other people do to! Ultimately I know people are looking for answers, reassurance, or just someone to commiserate with when tough times come; and the only things online I could find regarding ANY of this were old (like 10+ years old) case studies done, and a few threads between Mamma's on the Baby Center web site.

So, I thought, if anything, I could fill the gap for one of those reasons for some Mom out there, who is pregnant with her little love and facing this challenge. I feel you sister!! It's stressful!! It's a lot of uncertainty. And my hope is to just update periodically as I continue my weekly appointments with the specialist and OB, and obviously I want to be optimistic that at the end of all of this, I'll be sharing a photo of our beautiful, healthy and perfect baby boy! I know not everyone who has dealt with this has had a happy outcome, and while I'm believing that 100% for our little Sam, the truth is I don't know what the outcome will be. No one ever can know. That's literally just life. But, I'm hoping to be a beacon of hope to someone out there who needs it, whether it's today, or if someone googles and finds this post in the year 2029. (Although by then I think there'll be a lot more medical technology/information and maybe this won't be a concern to anyone then! Ha!) but, you know what I'm saying.

Our sweet boy is due to come between now and December 23rd! And I absolutely cannot wait to snuggle this beautiful boy & introduce him to the best big sister he'll ever know and welcome him into our home!

We love you so much little guy!!