It's been a little over four years since I've written on this blog.
I've spend a lot of time in the back of my mind thinking of what I wanted this space to be. If I wanted it to continue, if I had space to show up here anymore, if I had anything worth while to contribute to an already oversaturated and overstimulated online community. I've really always just written what's in my heart, or about things that felt were relevant in the season I was currently living. The running joke was that my Mom and my sister were the only people who even read my blog, but tbh, that was okay with me, and if that were true, it wouldn't bother me in the least. The truth is, writing has always been something for me. Kind of like my Instagram feed, it's my own personal digital photo album of my life since the time I met my husband (wasn't planned that way, just happened like that) and I've documented our lives since. Looking through my insta photos now and then from start to finish, fills my heart with the deepest joy and satisfaction of all we've been though together and all the different lives we've lived side by side. This blog has felt the same in ways. Writing is this outlet for me to think, process and put to words whatever swirls around my head, and if someone else happens to find value in that, I love that; conversely if not, that's okay too, because it is of value to me! :)
Parenthood, the next life altering task God has entrusted us to. We put God + our marriage first in order to give these wonderful people (our children) the best of us! We have been filled with indescribable joy, wonder, awe, frustration, challenge and delight since embarking on the journey of being parents. And much like marriage, parenthood has legitimately altered our brain chemistry and changed so much in how we live, think and move in this world, in the best ways. I see my calling with my children as this longitudinal task. It's my job to put the right things into these children now, with the end goal of them becoming good members of society, to be upstanding men and women in this world, who make a positive difference where ever they choose to plant themselves as adults. I don't know if it's just me, because I really can't think of many people who have processed parenthood like this. It is my goal to raise capable, kind, emotionally intelligent, thoughtful, financially wise, spiritually discerning adults. I've just kind of always prayed into that since they were babies and thought of them as who they will become, and knowing how we shape them in these younger years will play into that in a major way. As well as the example we set.
God has had to walk me through that mindset on levels as well, knowing our kids are individuals, and knowing I can't and don't have any desire to CONTROL who they become, but to instill the framework and biblical values that will bring blessing and goodness into their lives. As well as trusting God to lead and guide their lives as their faith walk begins to mature.
SO. Circling back. I guess this just became more of a reintroduction since it's been a minute. And I really still don't know what this space will become. More than likely, it'll just be where I come to spill thought about life now and then, and that will be enough!
